Boxing jokes, boxing humour and comedy

He's an ambidextrous fighter. He can get knocked out with either hand.

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He was a crossword puzzle boxer. He entered the ring vertical and left horizontal.

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I quit because I had a problem with my hands. The refs kept stepping on them.

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Ex-boxer: "I'm in great shape. Every artery in my body is hard."

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Manager: "How would you like to fight for the crown?" Boxer: "Great. I think I can take the queen in about three rounds."

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When I was a fighter I kept my head. I lost my teeth, but I kept my head.

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I know that there will never be women's boxing. A woman wouldn't think of putting on gloves without a purse and shoes to match.

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Boxer, after battering opponent unmercifully: "There'll be no rematch for that chump. My hands couldn't stand the punishment."

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He boxed as Kid Candle. One blow and he was out.

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The boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting. I'm not getting up."

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"My dad is a boxer." "What is your mother?" "Extremely cautious!"

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His trainer told him to stay down till eight. He looked up from the canvas and said, "What time is it now?"

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He only learned to count up to ten. He thought that after ten came, "You're out!"

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He boxed under the name of Kid Cousteau because he took so many dives.

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The boxer was so far behind in points he had to knock out his opponent just to get a draw.

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He's the only boxer in the history of the sport to be knocked out while shadow boxing.

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A fighter was taking a terrific beating. When the bell rang, he staggered to his corner. His manager said, "Let him hit you with his left for awhile. Your face is crooked."

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"Just think of it," said the boastful boxer to the manager. "Tonight I'll be fighting on TV before millions of people." "Yes," replied the manager, "and they'll all know the results of the fight at least ten seconds before you do."